How to be a Dom

Dom is completely, totally tied into status.  You CANNOT have Dom without high status.  You can have high status without Dom.

High status is essentially a pre-requistic for Dom.

Imagine this:

You've charmed her.  You've got her playing into you.  You're making her try to impress you and do things for you.  She's like a frustrated guy doing whatever she has to do to be with you.

You fly her in.  Shes in your house, lazily being lame doing something.  You look at her and say something like this:

And as you say that, you are walking towards her and looking down into her eyes.  When she says "Cool?!?" in reply at the end you reach around and grab her ass as you smile at her.  You give it a hard smack and walk away.

That is the beginning of being a true Dom.  You play the high status roll and drive up the attraction and then you start making demands in a way where she wants to comply.

And then the demands evolve into commands.

:)

DYD Adv S: Qualities of The LEADER

The dominant leader "of the pack" does the following:

• He doesn't look to others for approval.  Instead he does what HE DECIDES is the right thing.  
• He moves forward without signs of fear or self-doubt or cowardice.
• He always lives in his own world, his own reality; And he doesn't let out-side events destabilize him or take him off track.
• He holds and carries himself in a naturally confident way, and always projects AUTHORITY in everything that he does and says.

Qualities:

• Slightly over-confidence that's charming and funny.
• Just think, what's the OPPOSITE of weak, ass-kissing, passive men?
• If a woman accuses you of arrogance that's typically a good thing.  The better you are at generating attraction, usually the more you'll get of it.  Of course it matters how she says it but it's a strong rule of thumb.  Just say "I'm glad you like it" -- usually they wouldn't even point it out if it was a negative.
• Leadership - not needing her approval.  How you dress, what you drink, etc -- example "I don't like your shirt" --> Leader says, 'Well, I like it, and I don't really care what you think about it...'
• Or even better, he jokes, "Tell you what -- I'll trade you." (blowing it off lol)
• "well... why don't you take it off me then?"
• LACK OF INSECURITY (there is no "confidence").
• Dominance (not domineering) -- being in control of other people, meaning that you tell other people what to do and they comply.
• Control (not controlling) -- always acting like your in control of the situation.
• Selfishness -- you can be both selfish and generous at the same time -- demanding the best and expecting the best for yourself.  I'm going to do what I WANT to do, because why would I do things that I don't want to do.
• Composure & "unflappability" -- When challenge, leaders DO NOT lose their cool -- they don't act intense, nervous, argumentative, etc.  This is a common downfall.
• Having the attitude that you don't need to apologize or excuse yourself for anything.  There's no need to apologize because it's all just fine and you're completely comfortable.
• Pickiness / Being very selective.  Ask for what you want, the way you want it.  Talk about things you don't like.  The more picky you are, the more attractive you'll become.
• Judgmental -- The more judgmental you are (implying that you are the ultimate authority) the more attractive you are.  NOT insecure or upset or moral judgments.  Talking intelligently and saying things that are true, that you can back up -- like pointing out someone making a mistake.
• Not accepting second class behavior.

DYD Adv S: 5 Attitudes

1. "There is no downside".

There really is nothing to lose at any time with a woman.  There is no risk - and if you perceive that there is risk, it will destroy you -- it'll make you weak & tentative.

2. "I'm indifferent to the outcome".

If [whatever you want] doesn't happen, it really doesn't matter.  If you care, you'll be trying to not screw it up.  When you don't care, it's magnetic.

3. "I'm a catch, and time with me is rare and valuable."

If you spend time with a woman, she is ALWAYS getting the better end of the deal.  She's benefiting more than I am.  I'm the one who's worked on being charming and entertaining, so she's gonna be getting more value out of me than I am of her.

4. "She wants me, but I'm going to tease her to see how much."

Always know that she wants you.  Even if she's being standoff-ish, you know she WILL want you once she comes around to you.  And I want to see how much before I even decide to invest my time in her... I'm not just going to go for anything.

5. "She's going to have to PROVE that she's above average."

When Combined...

...It creates a cocky, indifferent, aloof air to your personality.  It really "turns up" the parts of your personality that show that you are confident, powerful, in control of the situation, and don't need anything.

You can always reframe and turn things around that implicate that she wants you, that she has a dirty mind, that she cares too much, that she's taking up your time without bringing anything to the table.

Nothing to talk about?  Ask her what she wants to talk about.  This implies she's boring you, and not the other way around.  If you can follow that up with an interesting story, all the better.  Then say, okay, I shared a story, what do you got?  If she's got nothing, then you can say, "You know, sarah, sometimes its like all you do is use me to entertain you."

Lost Status 11 Months Into a Relationship

I got too needy.

I needed love every day.  I needed my nightly call.  I needed her to reach out to me.

Losing status is a lot more than that though.  It's being afraid of how you might make her feel.  It's keeping your phone on you in case she texts.  It's being frustrated in general.

The high status man doesn't worry, because he's got nothing to worry about.  He knows she'll come to him when she needs him.

The idea that I need to reach out to her so she'll feel love/appreciated or so that the relationship won't die from neglect is just silly.  If she feels unloved she'll let me know.  If she needs me she'll reach out to me.  If the relationship is dying because she doesn't want to talk, the truth is it's already dead or dying, and the best thing you can do is wait.

Other things:

-Never bring up a problem -- there's no reason to keep talking about issues that you've had... bringing it up just reinforces the negative and creates bad feelings, resistance, and kills the mood.  It'll ruin a relationship the same way it would ruin a sale.  If it needs to be discussed, at least let her be the one to bring it up!!

-Being a man is about being in control of your problems.  If she's your problem and you're dependent on her to fix it, that's the lowest status position you can be in.