THE WUSS CURE

From some older advanced series notes

"THE WUSS CURE:
-Put some distance between her and you. Start seeing her half as often or less
-Call her once for every time she sees you
-Get a life of your own and stop acting like her servant
-Start seeing other women
-Start focusing on the bad behaviors that got you where you are now and think of how to avoid them in the future"

The last point is the one I need.  Bad Behaviors:

• BEHAVIOR: Talking About Myself.
• HOW TO AVOID: When you catch, snap right out of this and put her to the test: "If were going to keep being friends, I expect you to put in some effort.  I'm not just going to do all the talking, what kind of friendship is that.  Tell me something about your classes, days, dates, or I'm going to do something more productive.  My time is valuable, you know."
  
• BEHAVIOR: Neediness -- "I need you to talk to me more often"
• HOW TO AVOID: Set the tone right away that you can't talk long because your time is too rare and there's shows you want to watch, friends you want to talk to, comedy you want to see, and other things you want to do.
  
  Do this by saying at the beginning of ANY conversation with sarah that you want to keep this call fairly short (don't define a time... if she asks say 15-30 min at most... once i realize we're over an hour I'm hanging up on you immediately)
  
• BEHAVIOR: Talking about, evaluating, analysing our relationship.
• HOW TO AVOID: Treat her as a friend.  Say, "You know, I think the whole girlfriend thing just confused me a lot.  I still love you and I like us as friends, let's just keep things simple and not worry about talking a lot, if we talk a lot that's fine but we're both trying to build our lives right now and so the more time we spend apart the better really.
  
• BEHAVIOR: Reacting to her emotions, tests, etc.
• RELATED: The test she's been pushing where she makes me feel like I'm in an impossible situation of needing to be nice to her but also not wanting to be a wuss and just give in to her feelings.
• HOW TO AVOID: Look at her emotions the same way you'd look at Chris when he gets frustrated.  Or your little sister.  Or a brat.  No more Mr. Nice Guy -- now you're the prize and you care about her but you don't have time for her BS and need to get to the bottom of it or get out.
  
  It's time to stop being ruled by this one.  You DON'T have to be nice.  You DO have to be authoritative.
  
  Say, "Sarah, I want to be nice to you, but you're being ridiculous right now.  Explain what your upset about so I can better understand you."
  
  Start using your own NLP on her.  NOT "Why are you mad?" INSTEAD "Is this worth being upset about?  What are you really bothered by?"
  GO ALL 7 DIRECTIONS IN YOUR HEAD UNTIL YOU FIND AN EFFECTIVE REFRAME!
  
• ALL OTHERS -- Any problem you have with Sarah is like a troll or obstacle -- all you have to do is stop reacting, start thinking smart and be willing to push through the wall that is your comfort zone, and FIND THE OPPORTUNITY.
• All the above are opportunities.  And I came up with them on the spot.  There's more where they came from.  Find the opportunities and put them on this blog moving forward.

And that is how you end attraction week -- with the future commitment to this blog.  Attraction Week marks the true beginning of Age 2, with or without Sarah.  

From the ashes rises the phoenix, even if there's a gap coming up in the progression of age 2, I want to know that it has begun and it began with a great status failure and this blog as it's recourse.  

And I want to remember to bring future Age 2 work back to THIS blog, no matter how far in the future it may lie.  

DYD Adv S: Qualities of The LEADER

The dominant leader "of the pack" does the following:

• He doesn't look to others for approval.  Instead he does what HE DECIDES is the right thing.  
• He moves forward without signs of fear or self-doubt or cowardice.
• He always lives in his own world, his own reality; And he doesn't let out-side events destabilize him or take him off track.
• He holds and carries himself in a naturally confident way, and always projects AUTHORITY in everything that he does and says.

Qualities:

• Slightly over-confidence that's charming and funny.
• Just think, what's the OPPOSITE of weak, ass-kissing, passive men?
• If a woman accuses you of arrogance that's typically a good thing.  The better you are at generating attraction, usually the more you'll get of it.  Of course it matters how she says it but it's a strong rule of thumb.  Just say "I'm glad you like it" -- usually they wouldn't even point it out if it was a negative.
• Leadership - not needing her approval.  How you dress, what you drink, etc -- example "I don't like your shirt" --> Leader says, 'Well, I like it, and I don't really care what you think about it...'
• Or even better, he jokes, "Tell you what -- I'll trade you." (blowing it off lol)
• "well... why don't you take it off me then?"
• LACK OF INSECURITY (there is no "confidence").
• Dominance (not domineering) -- being in control of other people, meaning that you tell other people what to do and they comply.
• Control (not controlling) -- always acting like your in control of the situation.
• Selfishness -- you can be both selfish and generous at the same time -- demanding the best and expecting the best for yourself.  I'm going to do what I WANT to do, because why would I do things that I don't want to do.
• Composure & "unflappability" -- When challenge, leaders DO NOT lose their cool -- they don't act intense, nervous, argumentative, etc.  This is a common downfall.
• Having the attitude that you don't need to apologize or excuse yourself for anything.  There's no need to apologize because it's all just fine and you're completely comfortable.
• Pickiness / Being very selective.  Ask for what you want, the way you want it.  Talk about things you don't like.  The more picky you are, the more attractive you'll become.
• Judgmental -- The more judgmental you are (implying that you are the ultimate authority) the more attractive you are.  NOT insecure or upset or moral judgments.  Talking intelligently and saying things that are true, that you can back up -- like pointing out someone making a mistake.
• Not accepting second class behavior.

DYD Adv S: 5 Attitudes

1. "There is no downside".

There really is nothing to lose at any time with a woman.  There is no risk - and if you perceive that there is risk, it will destroy you -- it'll make you weak & tentative.

2. "I'm indifferent to the outcome".

If [whatever you want] doesn't happen, it really doesn't matter.  If you care, you'll be trying to not screw it up.  When you don't care, it's magnetic.

3. "I'm a catch, and time with me is rare and valuable."

If you spend time with a woman, she is ALWAYS getting the better end of the deal.  She's benefiting more than I am.  I'm the one who's worked on being charming and entertaining, so she's gonna be getting more value out of me than I am of her.

4. "She wants me, but I'm going to tease her to see how much."

Always know that she wants you.  Even if she's being standoff-ish, you know she WILL want you once she comes around to you.  And I want to see how much before I even decide to invest my time in her... I'm not just going to go for anything.

5. "She's going to have to PROVE that she's above average."

When Combined...

...It creates a cocky, indifferent, aloof air to your personality.  It really "turns up" the parts of your personality that show that you are confident, powerful, in control of the situation, and don't need anything.

You can always reframe and turn things around that implicate that she wants you, that she has a dirty mind, that she cares too much, that she's taking up your time without bringing anything to the table.

Nothing to talk about?  Ask her what she wants to talk about.  This implies she's boring you, and not the other way around.  If you can follow that up with an interesting story, all the better.  Then say, okay, I shared a story, what do you got?  If she's got nothing, then you can say, "You know, sarah, sometimes its like all you do is use me to entertain you."